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Why am I scared to get support after my pregnancy loss, miscarriage, or stillbirth?

I haven’t posted anything personal in a while. And I need to be honest—

I haven’t posted anything because the last 2 weeks have been ROUGH.

And when things get rough, I tend to retreat.

I tend to nestle inward with what is familiar; not with what is necessarily helpful.

Funny, I know. I am a coach who works with mothers facing their darkest and toughest of days.

Of all people, I should be eager to reach out for support.

Right?

WRONG.

Often times the ones who are always helping others, have the hardest time reaching out for help themselves.

I am one of them. (And you probably are too if you are reading this!)

So when I say I can relate to your hesitiation in reaching our for help after you have lost a baby due to pregnancy loss, miscarriage or stillbirth, it is because I really can.

I have been there and I am still there on some *rough* days.

It can be scary to seek out support.

Sometimes the blanket of darkness is more familiar, more comforting, than the sliver of light in the unkown.

I GET IT.

This week my chronic illness knocked me down.

And so I did what is familiar.

I sank and settled into the darkness.

I allowed myself to feel sad.

I allowed the tears to flow.

I allowed myself to feel frustrated.

I allowed myself to question this body that appears to fight against me.

This body that fought against me when I had two miscarriages and continues to fight against me today.

 

I allow myself to sit with the dark and rough moments of my life, because lets be real… it is NECESSARY!

But after many years of this dance, I have realized that reaching out for support is necessary too.

It is so necessary to have people in your life who “get it”.

It is so necessary to allow someone else to hold your self-doubt, fears and worries for you.

It is so necesary to know that you are not alone.

It is so necessary to have someone who can relate to your hesitation in getting support.

And most importantly, it is so necessary to have someone remind you of the light, even when you can’t see it for yourself.

 

So why are we scared to seek support?

Because asking for support is HARD.

It makes us feel VULNERABLE.

It can showcase the areas in which we need to improve. And that is SCARY!

 

I can not say I have the answer to make asking for support easier, but what I do  know is this:

Not having support is HARDER.

It is the difference between sitting with the darkness and being suffocated by it.

 

If you have had a pregnancy loss, are pregnant again after loss or anywhere in between…allow yourself to sit in the pain, the anger and the sadness.

And then,

when the weight is too much for you to carry alone,

reach out to someone to help you see the sliver of light that is waiting.

 

Book a free 30 minute consult to see how I can support you in your journey after loss http://www.pregnancylosshealing.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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