#1: Your feelings are valid– allow yourself to feel them
No matter what you are feeling, please know that your feelings are valid and you should do whatever feels right to you. Healing is a process and it can be hard for those who haven’t experienced pregnancy/infant loss before to understand the different ways that our bodies, minds, and spirits respond to loss. Some people feel anger, some people feel fine all the time, some people cry constantly for weeks or months at a time. There’s no one way to move through this. Give yourself permission to feel your way through this, it is the only way through.
#2: Take time to process your miscarriage or stillbirth
A lot of people feel like they’re supposed to “get over” a miscarriage or stillbirth after just a few days or weeks (as if it were an illness). This isn’t true! Losing a baby is an enormous loss—it’s not something that you will ever get over completely, but instead something that needs time and space for healing. In order to do so, you might find that you need to take time off from work, or perhaps even take a leave of absence. If this is the case, that is ok! If you are in a position that you can, take as much time as you need. It’s important to remember to lean on your support system and ask for their help when you need it.
#3: Ritualize Your Loss
Honouring your loss, no matter at which stage the loss occurred, is vital to your healing. There are several ways for you to honour your loss in a way that is meaningful to you and your loved ones. Some people name their baby, while others write a letter to their baby. No matter what you do, the important thing is that it feels right for you.
#4: Learn how pregnancy and infant loss coaches can support you
Pregnancy and Infant loss coaches can be a great source of support. They offer non-traditional approaches to healing and often come with lived experience, insight and intuitions that help you along the way. Pregnancy and infant loss coaches are a relatively newer support modality and you may have some questions before working with one. Read this blog post to see if it could be a fit for you.
#5: You’re not alone!
You are not alone. There is a community of people who have experienced similar losses. You are not in the way you feel.
We were never meant to do this alone. Reach out to friends, family, and the community for support.
We hope this article has been helpful. It can be a very difficult process to go through, but we want you to know that you’re not alone. We are here for support and guidance as you navigate your journey.